HTML Preview Funny Christmas Letter page number 1.
hristmas News?letter
Dear (Insert Name Here), and you KNOW you are our Dearest of (Choose One: Friends, Close Relatives, Marginal Relatives,
Neighbors, Students, Teachers, Paperboys, Mailmen, Teammates, Classmates, Study Buddies, Fellow Club Members, Car
Pool Partners),
Here it is early December, and already the Christmas newsletters are starting to arrive with tales of heroism, sagas of success,
accounts of achievement, yarns of adventure, legends of victory, and narratives of superlative performances.
And frankly, we are overwhelmed.
Well, whelmed anyway.
And we thought, hey, we should do that too!. We're pretty outstanding in our own way, and we should be able to catalog a
list of Significant Events to make for an interesting Newsletter.
Now unfortunately we did not keep records along the way. No, we just chugalugged along, merrily unmindful of the fact that
we should be journalizing as we went.
So we're just going to have to try to recreate our wonderful year from memory. And you of course have realized by now that
when we say "we" that Kathy and Karen (and Max) had nothing whatsoever to do with this.
Well, we started the year with what we like to call "January." We had a New Year's Day (can't talk about New Year's Eve,
because after all that was a DIFFERENT year, and would have been covered in last year's newsletter, had there been one).
We probably had a lot of fun on New Year's Day. We probably were still talking about Dick Clark.
In February we celebrated Jack Benny's birthday and had a Happy Valentine's Day. It was probably pretty cold still. In
March it was windy. VERY windy. No kites for us, though. Enough frustration with those things all through childhood.
April brought us a Fool's Day and the High School Quiz Bowl, where yours truly, for 18 glorious half-hour TV episodes,
became the annual incarnation of Alex Trebeck (without all those accents, though - two semesters of French 203 really drove
home the point that I'd never do those accents anywhere near right).
(I can't believe we got all the way to April before I hit a Bragging Point.)
May gave us the 500-Mile Race (have to mention that because I lived in Speedway for a while. June was finally the end of
the school year for a couple of us who weren't done in May. Everybody was sad that the school year had come to an end (he
says sarcastically).
July was the 4th., August was my birthday. Never mind THAT.
September and it hits me that I haven't described many real Accomplishments for this family to brag about. Let's see. Umm...
October was Halloween. Cold and wet as usual. Nobody came to OUR door that night. And for good reason.
November was Election Month, and we are smart enough not to discuss THAT topic.
And December....Well, here we are, aren't we?
Okay, so we didn't win a Pulitzer OR a Nobel this year. Very rare for us to go
0-for-2 like that.
Actually, the last thing I won was that yo-yo contest in 8th grade. (If you don't count that
humiliating Ugliest Freshman trophy).
Next year we'll make an extra effort to do something newsworthy.
Stay tuned, you're gonna love it....